Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Discussions with Blondie: Part Two

Warning: Anticlimactic post coming up.

Yesterday's post documented exactly the type of crap I dealt with at my slummy apartment the entire time I was there. Pretty sure my blood pressure rose about a thousand points while I was talking to that idiot. (Is blood pressure measured in points? No idea.)

Today my phone rings, and its a number I don't know. I don't answer numbers I don't know, because most of the time its Holyoke Dental telling me my appointment is scheduled for tomorrow when I haven't gotten my teeth cleaned there in 2 years, nor have I ever rescheduled any appointments. (And they were awful. If you live anywhere near Springfield, MA - avoid Holyoke Dental like the plague. They're the official dentist of the Springfield Falcons - probably a good thing those boys are already missing a lot of teeth, because those people are not on top of their game.)

Whoa. Tangent. Overtired and it's only Tuesday.

Anyway Blondie left me a message saying that she reduced my cleaning fee to $50 and that I should be expecting a refund for $3.

Lawd have mercy, how generous of you!

At this point, I'm cutting my losses and calling it a draw. And I'm going to take my $3 refund right over to TCBY and reward myself for never having to talk to her again.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Discussions with Blondie, Part One

I am not sure how many parts this will be, but if this conversation is any indication on how my week is going to be - this should be FUN.

I'm expecting around $50 back from my old slummy apartment complex, for the remainder of my deposit - they charged me for the 3 days I was there this month.  When I moved into this place, it was absolutely disgusting. Dead and alive cockroaches lined the walls, all through the kitchen cabinets, coming out of the dishwasher drain - you name it, there were bugs in it. They had vacuumed the center of each room, but that's about it. (I had also been told I was going to get new carpeting & appliances - neither of those happened either.)

Anyway. Saturday I got a freakin' BILL from them for a $100 cleaning fee! I opened that envelope and my adrenaline was instantly rushing. I was livid. 

I called this morning, and the conversation went a little like this:

Blondie: What can I do for you?
Me: Yeah, I got this bill from you for $100? I'd like to know what this phantom cleaning charge is for, because you are out of your tree if you think I am paying this.
B: Well the main thing is that it wasn't vacuumed --
Me: Wait wait wait. You are going to charge me A HUNDRED DOLLARS because it wasn't VACUUMED?! When I moved into that apartment, it was atrocious. Bugs everywhere, dead and alive, the center of each carpet had been vacuumed but the edges were clearly skipped. The kitchen was disgusting. Whoever moves in after me is going to be LUCKY that I lived there before them, because I got rid of all the bugs.
B: Oh now that you mention it, I do seem to remember something about that. Well I was going off of the move-in and move-out pictures.
Me: Oh, you mean the 4 pictures ______ took when she did my move-in? She took pictures of 3 stains on the carpet and scuff marks on the laminate in the kitchen. You can ask her how disgusting the place was, she saw the bugs.
B: Well its a legitimate charge.
Me: If we're going to go down that road, I am going to send you guys a bill for the $90 that it cost me to board my dog for the day and get all of my clothing/bedding laundered when I had to request my apartment be bombed for bed bugs.
B: That has nothing to do with this.
Me: Well I am not paying this bill, and you will be sending me the remainder of my deposit.
B: I'll speak to who I need to speak with and call you back.

Needless to say, I will be calling her every single day until I receive a check. Don't mess with me, because I will tell you where to go and how to get there.

I forgot to put up a Quote of the Day yesterday:
[I was having issues with my TV/DVD player - it would only play in black & white. Not great when Alexis and I want to watch Hocus Pocus! (Yes, in March.) So I called the customer service line for my TV, and the Southern guy I talked to was a little weird.]
"As a _____ customer service rep, I want to thank you for trusting us with your TV needs and tell you to have a nice day. And as a person, I want to tell you to have a nice life."


Sunday, March 25, 2012

Whole lotta craftin' goin' on

Okay kids, I need to apologize for my posts being so spread out and only like, once a week. But honestly by the time I get home from work and the gym I am exhausted and just want to cuddle up on the couch with Bailey and watch TV. (Like an adult. Since I have a TV now.) So I'm going to commit to at least posting on Sundays and if anything exciting happens during the week, I'll be sure to update. However the chances of excitement during the week are slim, since the dating has definitely slowed down considerably. All I have to choose from now on OKC is:

  • 21-year-olds who are "mature for their age" (no you're not) and "not interested in sex" (well, I am, so this is really not going to work out)
  • Guys who message me and tell me I'm too demanding because I answered the "How many times a day do you brush your teeth?" question with "At least two, if not more. And if your answer is less than two, don't bother messaging me because you are disgusting." I'm sorry, but that is unacceptable. That is basic hygiene and if you are not brushing your teeth twice a day by choice, I want you nowhere near me, let alone attempting to kiss me. GROSS.
  • Guys who have zero self confidence and show it in their first message. "Could you please do me a favor and look through my profile and let me know if you make it to the end without rolling your eyes too much or throwing up in your mouth. If you make it that far, could you let me know so we can talk further.." I don't even need to look at your profile to tell you that I am not interested. I've dated the guy with zero self confidence before, and its not fun for anyone. Can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself first. (And holy mother am I in love with myself, so I'm ready to love someone else!)
Needless to say, slim pickin's. I've gone back and forth deactivating/reactivating my profile all week, but I think I'm going to leave it up for entertainment factor alone.

Huge news about work - this is my last week as a temp! YEEHAW. On to having bigger paychecks and health insurance. There was a slight chance that I would be going on salary; cannot tell you how glad I am that that is not happening. Forty hours of mind reading is plenty.

This past weekend was awesome and full of laziness, but I did get a lot accomplished too. Friday night Alexis and I went to her friends house for a little gathering, and this house was full of dogs. Four of them! I was in heaven (and Bailey was quite alarmed when I got home and sniffed me from one end to the other).

So I mentioned a little craft that I was doing in my last post. You all know how Pinterest-obsessed I am, and I came across a cool way to store my makeup. My bathroom has ZERO storage other than the cabinet under the sink. No drawers whatsoever, which is a huge pain the arse when you have a lot of makeup like me. (Shameless plug, because you all need spring colors: ELF is having $1.99 shipping when you spend $15 or more. Ends tomorrow - go now!) This is what it usually looks like when I try to find what I'm looking for:

Big ol' mess.

Last weekend Alexis and I went to Ikea so I could stock up on decorating necessities. I picked up one of these magnet boards and a can of light blue spray paint. (This is a duh, but please do this step outside.)

I did not have a glue gun (gasp!) and found a super cute one for $4.99 at Michael's. I also got a package of mini glue gun sticks and a package of magnets.

 Let your glue gun heat up a little bit before you try to force the glue out. I am the least patient person I know so at first I was freaking out, "this damn glue gun sucks! Why isn't the glue coming out?!" Duh, idiot, because ITS NOT HOT YET.

Attach magnets to the bottom of all your eyeshadow compacts, blushes, bronzer etc. Anything with a flat bottom really. (I tried it with the tubes of foundation - they ended up falling off the magnets.)

Let cool, and slap 'em up on the board! Voila! Easy peasy, and total cost was probably $30.

Also, speaking of Michael's - while I was there, I used a coupon from my Key Ring app. If you have an iPhone, this app is a must. You scan all those annoying little cards you get from the grocery store, CVS, etc into the app and it sends you all kinds of great coupons!

The other day my friend Mugg posted on Facebook asking if anyone had a good recipe for iced coffee. Normally I make mine in the coffee pot and just pour over ice, but that results in watered down coffee with half melty ice cubes. Blech. But one of my idols, Ree Drummond - The Pioneer Woman, has a Perfect Iced Coffee recipe that I have been dying to try. Kate got me a sweet drink dispenser for Christmas and it literally has taken me this long to stock up on coffee and buy a mesh strainer so I could make this recipe.

Yes, I eat Princess Gummies for vitamins. I'm 26. Don't judge.

I used a big sauce pot and the inside of my crockpot, because I didn't have anything else. You may want to plan ahead and go buy a few containers solely for this purpose. Put your coffee in, then 2 gallons of water. (I'm serious. Two gallons is a lot.) Stir it up, make sure all the coffee has gotten wet. Then put it in the fridge for a minimum of 8 hours. I left mine overnight because I didn't want to do the next step at 11:30 at night.

Line your strainer with the cheesecloth (paper towel) and put it in the bowl. Dump the concoction from the previous picture into the strainer. I had to split this up into 4 sections - my bowl wasn't big enough and the paper towel had too many coffee grounds in it after a while so no liquid would come out.

 Pour whats in the bowl into a drink dispenser (or you can store it in Tupperware, if that's your thing) and behold: Liquid Gold.

Pour over ice, add creamer. Straw optional. Success! And quite delicious. I went with the regular Folger's coffee, but I think once I'm out of it (since I bought the 3-pound mega package at BJs) I'm going to splurge on Dunkin Donuts coffee to make this next time.

I need two wall hangings and then my apartment decorating will be complete. I went to Lowe's yesterday on a whim and bought all the things I needed to hang up shelves and my mirror - industrial Velcro is where it's at for the mirror! Holy crap that thing is never coming down, I'm going to have to putty the wall when I move out. I hung it a little bit too low so I may have to get one more set and move it up a little bit because I can't pull the existing sticky off the wall without pulling the paint off. And while I was there, I also found these:

Oh hey adirondack chairs for $18 each! Now I can sit outside and listen to the trucks drive by on the highway if I want to.

We are in the midst of planning our next Pinterest party, so I'm on the hunt for a new craft. Anyone have any nail polish storage ideas? I kind of want them to be on display so I don't have to dump the bag out every time I'm looking for a color (like my makeup situation) but I didn't find any small spice racks at Ikea. If you've got an idea, holler in the comments - I want to hear it!

Hope all y'all have a great week!

Sunday, March 18, 2012


Can I get a hallelujah for last week being over? Good GOD what an awful week. I was feeling absolutely disgusting after our eating weekend in Myrtle Beach and all I wanted to do was Group Power every day to get back on track. Events out of my control lead to me not getting to the gym until Saturday morning. What? Completely unnecessary and put me in a horrible mood.

But nothing that a day of shopping couldn't cure - who doesn't love a trip to Ikea? I know I keep saying this, but I have almost everything for my new place. I have curtains up, I bought a TV today (what?! see below) - now all I have left to do is put up the rest of my wall hangings, get some pictures for some empty frames, and organize my damn bathroom. I have a Pinterest craft in the works for that - will do a post on it once it's finished.

oh hey Bailey <3
Yes Alexis, my bed is pulled away from the wall, like an adult. Look at those curtains. Those babies were $6.99 for a set of two at Ikea. (See that fancy bunching at the bottom? Done with hair clips. *Now that I just looked at this picture again I realize you can't see the bunching AT ALL, but you get the idea.*) The other curtains I got came with hemming tape - but do I own an iron? No. I do not. ("But Helen, what do you do when your clothes are wrinkled?" I find something else to wear.) BUT. I do own a FLAT IRON and that did the exact same thing - so YEEHAW this place is feeling like home!

oh HAY Harry Potter marathon!
I am so excited to be a functioning member of society now. Because I'm tired of hearing "hey did you see -- oh no wait, you don't have a TV. Of COURSE you didn't see it!" But I fear with all of my channels to choose from, I will never get anything done ever again. I can watch Grey's, Private Practice, Once Upon A Time, hockey, football, and JERSEYLICIOUS (don't judge me) in real time. SO EXCITED. Any suggestions for new shows I need to get hooked on?

So yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, and can I just admit something right now? I've never been out for St Patrick's Day. Not once. To me it's like going out for New Year's Eve - I'm not one for crowds, because I like to avoid wanting to throw down with some obnoxious drunk bitches. Alexis and I decided we'd walk over to Birkdale (which from my apartment is a lovely, well-lit stroll - there's a bridge!) and it was underwhelming.

That there is the remnants of a very tasty and sticky Margarita. I also had a Tequila Lime jello shot - more tequila than lime. They also had another flavor that the bartender described as "We don't know what's in it, it says DL on the cover and they're poop-green" - hell of an endorsement! Yes please, give me the shit green jello shot. (Alexis tried it and said it wasn't bad though, haha.) And we were home by 10pm. Yup. I also did not feel like death this morning, so there's the upside of not staying out til the wee hours.

I don't have a Quote of the Day for this post (apparently none of my friends are feeling particularly funny lately... probably because everyone I know had an absolute shite week last week) so I will leave you with a picture of my absolutely FABULOUS dinner/lunch/lunch I made tonight.

Bag o' lettuce
Green pepper
Can o' tuna
Italian dressing

Done and delicious.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Ay yi yi!

Get ready for a text & photo heavy post, kids! Since it's been about 2 weeks since my last update, I know y'all are just dying to know what I've been up to.

(Sidenote: I'm updating my iPhone to OS 5.1 and I'm really nervous about losing all my contacts like everyone else.) (WOOT. Contacts intact.)

First off - I'm in my new apartment! Holy mother, so excited to be here. It's so clean, I have real furniture and its 15 minutes from work. Originally I just had the table Alexis got me, the couch and my bed - but a girl at work said "hey I've got some stuff you can have"... she gave me a dresser, nightstand, 2 end tables that I put together for a coffee table, and a TV stand. And then when they were delivering it (!) her fiance said "Hey you don't have a TV? Great we have one. I'll bring it by next week." SUCCESS. My entire apartment is outfitted completely, and my washer & dryer are going to be installed tomorrow. HALLELUJAH.

I had an awesome moving crew - Alexis was a rock star, and my mom's coworker who I spent Christmas with brought her entire family - husband and two kids, oh and their giant truck, plastic wrap, tarps, tape, bungees and ratchet straps. We started at 930, by 1130 I was in my apartment, all vehicles unloaded. Jen came over to help with the unpacking and we were basically done by 530. Now THAT'S how you do a move. (Have I mentioned how happy I am that I'm here for at least a year? I don't ever want to move again. Ever.)

First floor rules. The girl upstairs is a little jumpy sometimes, but I haven't met her yet so I don't feel right telling her to calm the eff down. But it's really not too bad. The guy next door is about 70 and has a little spaniel named Lizzie that Bailey tried to eat yesterday, and there's guys in the back of the building that have a little puppy named Erica. (ERICA. For a DOG. Why? WHY? What is with people naming their dogs after people?)
Plush new leather couch!

This dog thinks she owns the place.

Two pots on the stove. Domesticity at its finest.

Still working on where to hang things.

Yes, I realize that frame is empty. Pictures to be printed soon.
 (Also, did you know you can print pictures directly from your Facebook at CVS? BEST THING EVER. You just log right into your account at their little kiosk, choose your pictures and what size you want, and they're like 25 cents a piece! I'm about to go on a photo printing frenzy to fill all of these frames I have.)

Secondly - I'm about 3 weeks away from my 700 hours as a temp and I could not be more excited to get on a company's payroll. I've been getting votes of confidence left and right from people (namely, my boss, so that's huge) the past few weeks so I'm feeling really good about what I'm doing, and less like I have to mind read like I was before. Always a good thing.

Third - turned 26 last Friday. Oy. So marks the end of being on my parents' health insurance, which is absolutely wretched because I'm mildly convinced that I am on the verge of an ear infection. BUT. Alexis, Jen and I spent the weekend in Myrtle Beach, SC and had an amazing time. Far less drinking than we had anticipated (and with us three, that's saying something) but holy crap we ate a TON. You know when you head out on a road trip with your girls and you just laugh about the dumbest shit? That's how our entire weekend was. I'm so thankful to have these girls here - it's really made it feel like home away from home.

And yes, I chose to go to Friendly's for my 26th birthday dinner. Don't judge me. Judgement free zone.

Good morning, Myrtle Beach. 6:30am? Back to bed.

Sup New England?

oh HAY ocean - I've missed you so!

This is the difference between Jen & I. My bed looks like a tornado hit it. Hers is nicely made - even the clothes on it are folded!

Got a little captain in ya?


Almost as good as Latitude's Cioppino in West Springfield, MA

Friendly's. Delicious.

HOT outfits. Hot.

This makes me nauseous just looking at it.

See ya Myrtle Beach <3

Fourth - deactivated my OkCupid profile, again. Need a break, and I'm also excited that I've been out on two dates with the same guy who has yet to get a nickname, because he is so, erm, normal that I can't even come up with one. Opens doors (cars included, swoon), pays, and in general is just a gentleman. Our "dinner" dates last anywhere from 4-6 hours, and we've got a lot in common and tentative plans for upcoming dates so YAY. And I don't think he's intimidated that I like football & hockey - it got to the point that I had to put in my OKC profile, "If my fantasy football team could beat your fantasy football team, don't bother messaging me. It's not going to work out." because being a Steelers fan "by osmosis" is not going to cut it, sorry.

Fifth - 80 days until I am home for 3! WAHOO!

Quote of the weekend:
You know you speak to your animals in your weird baby/pet voice. Don't deny it, because you do it. You do it with other people's pets too.

- Alexis, about her cat

I think I was close to peeing my pants when this came out of her mouth!

Okay kids, that wraps this up for now - I'm going to nurse my head cold and go to bed early so I don't have a Bullshit Tuesday (because a Bullshit Tuesday following a Bullshit Monday would probably send me over the edge.)